Ao fim das contas, sou eu, Diego Parada
… a short autobiography
February 2019, I experienced my first case of burnout. Unbeknownst to me until I had opened up about my exhaustion while in an academically challenging and enriching semester at the University of California, Berkeley, I began to slow the intake of my strides.
Since 2016, trendy mental health awareness and human psychology have been receiving the necessary visibility for ourselves to self-diagnose and receive treatment. Mental health and keywords such as “burnout” have appeared thousands if not millions of more times more in our lexicon than between 2004 and 2019 even allowing for researchers to study social patterns (Harman, 2014).
The body is the first in this process, as it begins to feel worn down and tired. The more time one spends without taking the necessary steps back, the more your body caves into illness. I became ill in mid-March for about a week.
February 2020, seeking another break from the rigor of academia at the twilight of my university career, the world was placed on break. I succeeded in finishing my classes and sought time for myself and the care of my aging dog.
Late May, the United States and the world marched and voiced their demands for the protection and joy of Black people. Natured to needing a country where the police system is reformed and or eradicated, my well-being was stressed by the hardships people endured and will continue to endure until the monumental change is brought about.
Completion of undergraduate academia in a world full of turmoil did not deter me from exploring a wide range of opportunities to pick from, and I quickly chose the opportunities that were readily available. I occupied client-facing positions in delivery driving, hospitality, a soccer stadium, and for the federal government.
While working, I volunteered my time to organize and scout for Richmond Sol Youth Programs and California Football Federation exercising my experiences and skillset from abroad to inspire new standards at each respective organization. I expanded my horizons when and where I could, but I ultimately found myself withdrawing my presence to preserve myself.
It has been difficult for me to find which path to tread for my flexibility and willing nature are the core of my being. I do my best to avoid faults in communication and shortcomings, but as I have seen from those around me, I scornfully learned that this habit does not only deter you from your own success, it more likely deters the success of another’s.
I had to begin recollecting myself in late 2021. If my success comes from the hand of another person, I must be able to pulsate success for myself. I took my savings and went on my first trip to Portugal in 2019. I sought inspiration where I have usually been at my most calm and reassured.
I had a reset. I and those who have known me have seen the transformations of that continuous living in the United States have had on me. I felt like a superhero who had gone the dark path only to remember why they use their superpowers for “good”.
It was not the stretches of burnout that had turned me, it was the bleakness of the opportunities I had pursued while in the United States. With the B.A. in Political Science and the experiences I bring to any table, I dreamed of what I believed was attainable, only to be disappointed and be forced to reassess and reassess.
Beacons were in this land so far from California. Experiences and feelings were validated by the sanity and healthfulness of the people around me even if unprovoked. So it became natural for me to continue my reset and recalibration when I returned home.
I quietly left positions that were occupying my headspace to regain the sense of purpose I had in me. Now with a more youthful dog to accompany the older one, I walked both of my dogs as frequently as I can throughout the spring of 2022. Without taking the necessary time for myself, I will not be able to succeed in the way that I intend for myself. I am worthy at the end of every single day.
I adamantly look forward to regaining, sharpening, and tuning the impact I have on myself to attain what I have dreamed of.
